Dear Takers:

This is issue #15. Just thought I’d pat myself on the back for having sustained this effort over four years or so. Good for me. The last issue got some interesting reactions. “Glib.” “Odd.” “Disjointed.” Those were some of th words I heard invoked. I take objection to “glib.” But as long as I’m not hearing “boring”, I’ll keep doing these. That’s a threat.

For those of you who also receive Mike Gebert’s generally masterful newsletter, did you notice that his blurb on the movein, Hard Eight, began “A aging gambler . . .”? After I was done snickering derisively, I began weighing my options. Sould I call him? Or fax hime the newsletter with the mistake circled? Somehow, this forum seemed like th best option. For those of you who are about to point out that I’m no stranger to misspellings, grammatical gaffs and the like (and I’m sure Gebert is among this number), I say “Yeah, but this is my letter.”

My nomination for the most often mispronounced word in advertising is not, as you might guess, “mnemonic”, which is almost always pronounced “Pneumonic” or pneumatic”. the word I nominate is “asterisk”. If you can say the word “risk”, why can’t you say asterisk? Why must you say “asterik” or “asteriks”? When discussing Robby Knieval’s recent jump over the Grand Canyon, do you say that he took a big rik? Or, if asked to list the ten board games you played most as a kid, would you include on that list, Riks?

Speaking of riks, could I have a word with all you women who wear wrap-around-type skirts? Did you know athat one reason those things are designed that way is to show some leg? Do you know how stupid you look grasping your skirt for dear life as you walk down Michigan Avenue on a windy day, thus not just defeating its purpose, but making you out to be some kind of conflicted schoolmarm? The image it brings to mind is that of a five-year-old who really needs to go. I’m sure they don’t teach the “wrap-around grasp” at charm school.

I’d like to suggest that, if you insist on wearing one of those things, try gracefully accepting the consequence: you’re going to show some leg. If that’s a problem, then what would possess you to buy a skirt of that design? It’s like the 63-year-old man you see flying down Lake Shore Drive at a whopping 35 mph in his third-childhood Miata. Please, let’s not buy into the theory, if we can’t bring ourselves to put it into practice. There, I feel better.

A special high goes out to two new victims of WBTE. both of whom have recently flown Beyond DDB’s coop -- the illustrious Peggy Gilmore and David Kantor “won’t”. Peggy landed at K&R/MARC, David at JWT. Write these guys’ names down. They’re extra ‘specially finger-lickin’ good people.

Finally, in light of recent events, I urge each of you to pay heed to the sage words of BBDO’s David Schiff, who reminds us: “A wet cow does not burn.”

Stoically,

 

So it turns out it was the outer coating of paint that caught fire on the Hindenburgh, not the helium. Who knew?
“Truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion.” - Francis Bacon

“Slang is language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.” - Carl Sandburg

“Nature is not human-hearted.” - Lao Tzu

“Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.” - Fre’de’ric Bastiat