Back The Telling Twenty There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who admit they are brand loyal and those who are kidding themselves. Brand allegiance is not only universal in this culture, it is very telling. (I mean "brand" here is the broadest sense, whereby not just products and services have brands, but also sports teams, celebrities and the like.) In fact, I contend that more insight can be gained into who you are by looking at your brand allegiances than by any standard psychological test. Rorschach would be shocked at how clear a portrait of yourself emerges from a glance at your cumulative brand bonds. I will spare you the in depth discussion of just what constitutes a brand and all that, because we all pretty much know a brand when we see one (or feel one, which is probably more accurate). Therefore, as a public service, I'm providing you with a quick quiz, the results of which provide a brand portrait of you. This quiz taps into an interesting aspect of brand allegiance. Often the most passionate allegiances arise from an 'either/or' context, where there are two dominant options, each clearly representing a different, disparate set of values, priorities, even world views. I've chosen to use these because they are so clear cut and evocative. And you'll notice that, because brand allegiances often form during Wonder Bread's "formative years", I'm providing two lists which speak to two different eras -- one drawn from the formative years of older people, one from the formative years of newer people. If neither of these lists resonates with you, then you're one of those unenviable saps who grew up in that black hole of popular culture, the seventies, and it's just the way things are going to be with you for the rest of your life, so get over it. For the rest of you, look over your era's Telling Twenty, pick your allegiance, and compare your results with those of your friends, relatives and associates. I'm guessing marriages will end, friendships will suffer and fist fights will break out. Or, at the very least, derisive comments and ridicule will be forthcoming. Older People's Telling Twenty 1. Zenith RCA 2. Kennedy Nixon 3. Post Kellogg's 4. Chevrolet Ford 5. Beatles Stones 6. Lionel American Flyer 7. Johnny Carson Steve Allen 8. Cubs Sox 9. Coke Pepsi 10. Life Look 11. Bosco Nestle's Quik 12. Wilson Spaulding 13. Keds P.F. Flyers 14. Levis Wrangler 15. Bazooka Double Bubble 16. Time NewsWeek 17. Bud Schlitz 18. Schwinn Raleigh 19. Public school Catholic school 20. Gene Autry Roy Rogers Newer People's Telling Twenty 1. Apple IBM 2. McDonald's Burger King 3. Limp Bizkit Creed 4. Bud Miller 5. Gap Ecko 6. Nintendo Sega 7. Letterman Leno 8. Nike Reebok You may have noticed that the newer people's "Telling Twenty" list only has eight pairs of items. That's not because I ran out of room. It's because, after talking to several newer people, that's all I could glean. Why? Two possibilities come to mind. Either the brand landscape has proliferated so much over the last 30 years that there simply aren't very many categories with two dominant, well differentiated brands to invite taking sides between. Or, these dang kids today are just too lazy to give even a simple exercise like this one tiny iota of effort. [Note to Screen Folk: Please replace the old blurb with the one below. Also, when laying this column out, if there's any way to keep each of the lists intact as discrete units, without having to continue a list from one column to the next, I would be grateful. Thanks} You can talk to Jim Morris, the Communicaterer at 847-869-3415 or email him at jimmorris@communicaterer.com. That's right. He finally has a website up and running.